The Tao of Motherhood

Vimala McClure, author of The Tao of Motherhood, hit the nail on the head when she said:

“Parenting is a spiritural path which can bring great pain and great joy and which can have a tremendous positive impact on your personality and behavior. I believe our children, unknowingly and with innocent trickery, teach us the deeper knowledge of how to be a true human being.”

This is good advice to print and post somewhere visible, like the back of your front door, for those times when your kids are driving you crazy and you feel like running away and spending a couple peaceful years in solitude as a monk. It is a reminder that while having children gives your greatest joy and meaning in life, it is how you deal with the difficult moments that will make you a stronger, better person.

“The Tao of Motherhood” is inspiring but practical and helps mothers understand what a huge influence they are on their children.  The little book consists of a series of short pieces, poems in the Taoist style, and bits of wisdom around specifically parental topics like Power, Selflessness, Trust, Education, Conflict, Listening, and Healthy Parenting.  It is great book to have on hand to get you back in a positive frame of mind during frustrating moments, to spend 5 minutes glimpsing before starting your day, or as a gift for someone you know who has kids.

Here is an excellent review I found which was written by Magdalena Ball
The Tao of Motherhood
by Vilama McClure

Go into any bookshop and you will find rows of parenting self-help guides. There are also plenty of collections of inspirational quotes. The Tao of Motherhood is neither of these, although it is an inspiring and surprisingly practical guide to mothering. This little book consists of a series of short pieces, prose poems in the Taoist style; bits of wisdom around specifically parental topics like Power, Selflessness, Trust, Education, Conflict, Listening, Healthy Parenting, etc. Each of these pieces are beautifully written and moving in themselves, but they also serve as a means for helping mothers understand how their role as mothers shapes their children, and how to break negative cycles and patterns inherited from their parents.

Most parents would agree that having children is an intensely spiritual experience, one that provides meaning and joy to life, but there are so many day to day crises: sleepless nights, tantrums, whining, illnesses, fussing about baths and meals, and it is not always easy to know the best way of managing these issues, especially when we are tired and frustrated. The Tao of Motherhood does a wonderful job of reminding us of the bigger picture, to seeing beyond the daily issues, while providing techniques which really work. For example: “When your children’s energy is scattered, be grounded. When your children throw tantrums, be still” (70) Obvious? Not for me. Like my own mother my natural reaction to a tantrum was to yell back. Being calm, and even providing extra love, works beautifully in helping children tame their rage.

I was impressed with how the book kept returning to the mother and her feelings; how her own needs were affecting her responses, and how understanding ourselves is critical in understanding our children and our responses to them: “When you feel a hardness come around your heart, go soft and explore the sensations and feelings that arise. Feel what is beneath anger: thousands of tiny moments of pain, confusion, doubt, fear, self-protection” (88) . The writing is beautiful enough to memorise and carry around like a mantra: “a relationship of love is more worthwhile than a philosophical position. When doubt arises, give way only to love”. The Tao of Motherhood is no self-help book, nor is it a book of syrupy quotes to read and then put back on the shelf. It is a wonderful book which provides the basis for self-understanding and therefore sympathetically working with our children in the knowledge that their wellbeing and happiness is more important than any form of discipline or externally imposed regiments. I recommend it highly.